Having a baby;
One time my older sister got pregnant, when this happened, surprise I found out I was pregnant, this didn't go over very well. My younger sister was the first person I told, my younger sisters told me whatever you do, do not tell our older sister, wait until she has her baby, she will be very upset. I couldn't tell her; who does this? how could it be that me being pregnant can affect this other person? I never did tell her until after she had her baby. But she didn't talk to me for a long time.I thought for sure she was going to back out on helping us move to our new home, after this. But she did since it was planed before. But there is not one photo of my older sister with my youngest child before age one. Here I am in the year 2013 reviewing what I wrote years ago and I now know my oldest sister was not alone my younger sister and everyone I have ever loved new this secrete. But me of chores.
Buying a home;
Our family was getting big, we owned a bungalow at the time we had three children a mom and a dad a dog and a bird and we felt it was time to move into a larger home. We found a home that was larger. It was a three-bedroom plus,floor level back split home, a dining room, a large kitchen, a den a playroom and a large lot. Pretty much everyone's dream right? When we moved in my older sister wouldn't talk to me. I can't understand why. I called my younger sister, I talked her almost every night I cried to her almost every night I couldn't understand. Why, why is my older sister doing this I would ask over and over again. My younger sister replied, well you bought her house, this was her dream house, how could you, did you do it on purpose why would you do this to her. I didn't buy my house to hurt anyone, I bought my house because my family was growing, I wanted a larger home. I wanted a home where we didn't have to move for a long time, nothing more than that, I do not have malice in in my heart, "what you see, is what you get." no more , no less.
Here I am in the year 2013 reviewing what I wrote years ago now I know my whole family did this to me. I believe the pain I use to suffer was a trauma, sad to think a secrete could do so much harm.
Here I am in the year 2013 reviewing what I wrote years ago now I know my whole family did this to me. I believe the pain I use to suffer was a trauma, sad to think a secrete could do so much harm.
Now I noticed a lot of times when there was weddings a lot of people would not invite my family and I. I couldn't understand why, they would invite everybody in my family everyone, not just to their wedding but to the hall. For the life of me I couldn't understand this, especially one time, when my mom and I live together there was one sister my mom seen quite a bit, this sister she had a daughter, now I used to wake this little girl up and walk her to school. I would feed her and dress her and take her to the movies, I would do lots of things for this little girl. Everyone was invited to her wedding even my brother, whom she didn't even know really. But we were not, why? I think I know why now, my older sister has been telling people stories about me all untrue ( sociopaths behavior)I have never spoken one bad word about any of them. I see now she didn't want me to be in their lives it was them my older sister and Mr. Reg that told me it was "This Family members mother" that put my mother's killer away , her testimony. Everyone kept telling us we were invited to the reception so we went, when we got there in front of everybody we were kicked out. Mr. Reg and wife, older sister, younger sister and all their children sat there as we were being kicked out. My older sister called me the next day, she said this was my aunt Ann doing this. I don't think she likes you Judy. I see now it was my older sister anytime she had anything to do with anyone's plans, weddings birthdays, dinners if older sister was running it or in it, I wasn't allowed to be there. I see now Mr. Reg was not my biggest problem I see now it was my older sister. She was taught by the best her father. Here I am in the year 2013 reviewing what I wrote years ago and I see my younger sister and everyone new my trauma, their secrete, my pain, migraines, swelling, it is hard to believe with someone's bullying you can do so much harm. Lies it is always best to speak the truth. My sister- in-law to whom I respect very much just recently told me it was a promise everyone was to keep secrete. "Everyone knew." everyone but me. I guess you could say she freed me.
My aunt was getting very ill, this was the aunt that was married to my uncle dad, we went to visit her one day, her daughter's son was having a baby, and she was throwing a shower. Now I know she was not all together there at the time, she was having mind problems. But she is not crazy! Nevertheless she had said to me that one of you girls are not your father's biological daughters. Now I would have ignored this and moved along my way, but I think for the first time in my life I really listen to her words not because it was the first time I ever heard this, it was because my aunt Ann, once told me to go ask your uncle Bxb and his wife they know who is not the biological daughter. At this point while in the car I remembered what Mr Dad told me at age 12 years old. When returning to the car, I told my older sister my memories, What a mistake that was.I see now this was the biggest and the worst thing I could have ever done. I trusted her, I loved her.
This is when my older sister said no Jud I don't think it's you I think it's our younger sister, but I don't think we should tell her. I don't think it would be good. I didn't believe what my older sister said that day, but I just didn't say anything. I figured if she didn't want my younger sister to know that was fine since I didn't believe it was her anyway. I figured it out that day, that I was not Mr. dad's biological daughter. Here I am in the year 2013 reviewing what I wrote years ago joke is on me, my younger sister was playing me also. Guess you would say my life was a game to them. They all knew but me for all those years. I feel like I have just woken up from a bad dream.
· After this took place, straighten above, my older sister would call me up and whisper in my ear, so Jud what do you feel about our younger sister only being our half-sister? My reply doesn't matter to me, I love her. To me I loved them, all of them. Never would say bad about them once upon a time ago. Almost every time she called, she would say this to me. What was she trying to prove? I believe she knew. NO I know she knew. She told me once she knew a secrets, but she swore she would never tell. When Mr Dad told me again. That I was not of his DNA. First thing my older sister said to me,Jud, we did this because we know how important family is to you. Here I am in the year 2013 reviewing what I wrote years ago can you imagine looking back at your life only to see what you were living was a lie, and everyone you ever loved was playing you?
Visit to younger sister’s house;
One time when I went to visit my younger sister we were drinking, at this time my younger sister looked at me and said; all I can say is thank God he is not of my blood, thank God there is no DNA attached to him and I. Now I could've jumped up and said, why would you say such a thing? But I didn't think this would be the right time or place since we had been drinking. But I see how my older sister asked me not to say anything to my younger sister but "she told her." But this doesn't seem to bother my sisters today she says we are all of his. But yet Dxbbxx my cousin told me my youngest sister called her a little over two years ago crying to her about the same thing. But as you all know I have done my homework and I have found out I am not his daughter. I am not trying to hurt these people, I am just trying to find out who I am, as any person would. This is why people that are adopted go and look. I never realized this until now but you really do need to know who your parents are, there something inside you that draws you to it, that will not let you sleep at night until you find out the truth. Here I am in the year 2013 reviewing what I wrote years ago do you see what I mean when I say sociopath behavior? My younger sister knew. All that time they were playing me, like I was a toy. I remember one of the the last words she ever spook to me was to stop trying to steel her life. Only to find out she too knew THE SECRETE. It is like I really was a toy.
My older sister used to whisper in my ear while on the phone, aren't you glad we are Mr. dad's daughters and not uncle dad's daughter? Don't you think he is so much better looking? Don't you think at least he wasn't lazy like his brother? Do you ever talk to his daughter? She would ask me. Why did she ask me this over and over again? It was almost as if she was making fun of me, toying with me because she knew, why do I believe she knew, why do I believe my older sister knew, I can tell you why because I have had the last 30 years of whispers about my uncle dad and his family. When all this took place, this is when; my daughter went missing, this is when things started to add up for me. Like
- · why was my sister asked me if I ever spoke to my cousin Debbxx? I think it's because, it was my older sister who convinced Debbxx if not Debbxx she convinced my younger sister to convinced Debbxx that my aunts husband was poisoning her. Why do I think this? My older sister whispered in my ear once , I think it's so unfair that Mr. dad is alone and Dxreen has someone. I think my older sister was whispering this in my ear, asked me if I spoke with my cousin because she was up to something, there is no doubt in my mind now, just I'm not as clever as her so I'm not totally sure of what went down but I do know one thing, my older sister is behind it. Look she wanted me out. And what she says she gets.
- · I was told one thing to watch out for, I was told Mr. dad and older sister are a team, they go after the weak, they go after the old. Now I see this is true, I see how they took grandma's money, my stepmother's mother's money, everyone says to me to move on. I'm not the first person they've turned a child against their parents, this is been going on for a long time, I guess it started with me. When I was born they seen the power they had over my mother, I guess this made Mr. dad feel good and now I see it made my older sister feel good too. And then after me it was Sherry ,Debbxx, Sheila, Gregory, Tom, and so many more now it's my baby, guess it's my turn.They are like a cult and even though my daughter is 18 years old now she left at 16 why because she could, why because they said it's okay and at the same time they badmouthed her mother so much, when we went to counseling my daughter and I, there was so many things she said about me that were not of her tongue but if theirs.
- · Now I have been told, once my aunt went into the hospital, her husband left her and why wouldn't he after all he was just accused of poisoning her, which I knew in my heart and soul was not so, why do I believe this? My older sister's whispers. I can't help but feel now, my aunts sibling tells me there is money missing that my aunt's ex-husband left and took all the money. I wonder if they've even asked him if he did take the money!" for some odd reason I can't help but be suspicious" when going to the hospital to visit my aunt, during my visit my aunt told me that the only person she trusted in this world was my older sister. I could see my older sister taking that money and telling my aunt she will give it back. Is this the suspicion versus reality? 2013 The money suspiciously appeared after I posted this.
- · one time I was invited to go to a girls week and with one of my most favorite people in the world, and it was Mxnxca. Mxnxca allowed me to be a part of her children she showed me how to be a real parent I looked up to her in many ways. But I knew I couldn't go because my older sister would be going too.
- · There were many times I wanted to go to Mxnxca and tell her about the abuse that I was getting, but I'm just not that kind of person. And one time my older sister told me Mxnxca had come from an abusive home and was beaten very badly as a young girl. My older sister told me not to talk about abuse around her because it affected her very deeply and it wouldn't be good for her or me. Is this true?
- · One time my cousin came over with some disturbing news and was very upset, I don't want to get into this too much because this person asked me not to, but the letter was very upsetting and due to the nature of this letter, this person lost a sister, he lost his mother, where did the info come from who would have done this to him, I don't think it was to him, it was to them. My older sister did not just want to break me up, kick me out, she wanted to hurt me. She wanted to hurt them, she was just as pissed off at them as as she was with me. All she went on and on and on about all the time to me with her whispers on my phone was them. This is her doing. But you know what I have tried to talk to people, I have tried to tell people, but I see now they're much bigger than I am. I only have this little voice and I see now they will just all believe I have a vendetta.or how about this one, but I've heard from many people what they are saying about me Jud's gone crazy. In Darn right I have a vendetta but I would never ever lie,and I am far from crazy. Mind you with everything that's been going on in my life sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, this is so bizarre right?. I am not like them. I believe in truth, I believe in family, I believe in unity this is the act of my older sister. It has her name written all over it
- · I have received over 100 letters, e-mails messages from them, nasty one's, since the on-set of my daughter leaving two years ago at 16 years old from these people. What adult encourages a sixteen year old to move in with a twenty two year old? telling me how bad I am, and what did you do Jud? trying to blackmail me with photos trying to break up my husband and I, trying to tell me to take it and shut up or else."We can make your life very bad!" Accusing my husband of things he hasn't even done,not that they don't deserve anything done to them. We just know better. And yes they can and they have made my life very hard I'm having to erase things they've gone around and said about me. Turning my name to mud to those I loved or had any relationship with. Will I be able to fix my daughter? one thing they don't have, that I have, is truth, is memories. I pray she will come back. 2013 My daughter returned home at eighteen. I think it is very important for a teen to be encouraged to live at home. There is so many things a parent still must teach, values are made at this age. Unless you know for sure that teen really needs you. That they are not running from a good home. Don't cross that line of trust. They need roles, and the love of a parent. To break the love of a family only brings loss.
- · They have turned my daughter against me, they have told her things about her mother no child should hear. They have told her I was a thief, they told her I am a liar, they told her I was a prostitute they told her I got children high while growing up as a teenager what ever they could tell her to turn her against her mother, they did this. Just like they did it to me years ago with my mother. I don't know if my daughter will ever respect me again, why? Because my older sister says so. 2013 They all knew
- · One time there was a Christmas gathering it was at a hall that my sister-in-law knew of, when arriving all the names were already placed on the table which was okay no big deal right. Well I didn't realize until it was time to leave and we got into the car and one of my daughters looked up and asked me a question. Mommy why is it everyone in our family was sitting at one end of table but you and us other than her older sister were all sitting with your uncle side? My reply, probably because we were so close to them. Asking my older sister later on, her reply I placed everybody with their family, I guess she was trying to tell me then that my real family was my cousins. My girls see this now maybe one day their older sister will to. With the help of God, or the help of extended family.
- · I am told I am going through post traumatic stress disorder. When this all began one thing they told my husband, one thing they told my daughter that left, JZ makes up stories and starts believing in them, guess they knew I was coming out of shock, the shock they put me in.
- · You're probably asking well why did you put up with these people for all these years. It's not that easy and they are very sly very cunning, it's not straightforward just when you think everything is going okay it seemed to be where you are back at the beginning.
- · I love my cousin and I think these people should be warned to be careful, my councilor told me I should warn everyone about my older sister so here I am. My older sister's intentions within this subject is malice and they have to watch their backs. I understand they don't want to give me the DNA but maybe one day with the grace of God and once all of this pain is gone because really if you think about it, it's not such a bad thing that happening to me. Things like this happen all the time now a days, I know the time that my mother did this it was painful. I know this was a secret that was to be taken to the grave, but it's out of the bag,Who cares move on we are family. You have a half sister, I have more half sibling, makes me feel okay.One day through them or some way or somehow I will get the DNA I need to feel full, to feel truth once again.
· If they ever read this blog I want them to know I will not use the DNA against them, I will keep it silent I will keep it quiet, I just need to know for me just like an adopted person goes to look. I just want to feel whole, don't you understand? Here I am in the year 2013 reviewing what I wrote years ago ; by the time you notice someone is a sociopath the damage is already done. You have to pick up the peaces and try with all you heart and soul to move on.
My Step Moms memories, last days, last breath
- My stepmother died, when she died everybody was invited to the hospital, they were invited to the hospital so that they could explain to them what Freeport hospital was all about, what hospice was about. I was not invited. It saddens me to believe that this could actually really honestly happened to me. The last two weeks of my stepmother life my older sister was not around, my younger sister lived out of town, my stepsister lived in Florida and was not in town, and my brother had no communication with these people any longer. Now I would like everybody to know I was not in that meeting to explain what was going to happen at Freeport Hospital ( They did their job, and in no way knew what I am about to say). I guess now looking back I see I was what you call ; the fall guy. The morning my stepmother went to Freeport,hospital, my niece called me and told me my stepmother was calling for me, I then told my niece it would be best to call the, ambulance, I know they wanted me to go pick her up and carry her into my vehicle so they could save the money on the ambulance, but there is 'no way' I would ever agree to that. When I arrived later to Freeport the doctor asked me; shall we give her the injection? Then my stepmother asked me if she would wake up to see her daughter who was coming in from Florida later that day? I look to the doctor, I look to Mr. dad who was sitting in the corner of the room, if indeed my stepmother would wake up? The doctor said yes, my stepmother never did, she never did get to see her daughter that day, that was her last wish. When her daughter arrived she was very upset to see her mother lying there half dead. Pretty much gone, no response at all. We went to talk to the doctor and ask him if she would wake up, the Dr. sat down and said everybody in the meeting was told what was going to happen. This is when I let them know 'I was not in that room,'' this is when the doctor said to me and to my stepsister, I was told every single person was in that room the only family member that was not present was her daughter that lived in Florida, was his son no longer had anything to do with them, all other siblings were present. Guess they were trying to tell me then and there I was not family. I babysat Andrew that day and my younger sister didn't even tell me what they had planned for me to do. I now believe they never did tell Bxrb she was dying in fear she would tell me I was not Mr. dad's biological daughter. This is something I will have to live with the rest of my life. This is what these people did to me. I have called for help, and no one listened, they didn't listen to me when I was a kid, when I was being beaten and battered and made fun of, most of my life, they didn't listen to me, when I was a teenager, or when I charged the man that took my mother's life. Instead my older sister told everyone of my nieces I charged my mother. She also told my daughter the same thing and now my daughter's gone, missing and my family is broken, our hearts are broken this did not just happen to me, this happened to our family. This is the damage a sociopath can do.This happened to the little girls I thought they loved.I hope this does not put my girls in shock, like it did me years ago.I have gotten my daughters into counseling because of fear of this happening to them.
I confronted my stepsister with this information, her reply move on I did, Xandy did, don't you get it, you’re not part of our family. To them blood is thicker than water.I'm water. Behind stepsisters back she's water too.Were they waiting for Bxrb to die? Here I am in the year 2013 reviewing what I wrote years ago Step mother knew too , what a fool I was. Everyone thought I was a game.