Alcohol Abuse in teens
Alcohol Abuse in teensThing were not always good as stated before I had the run of my own life {at the age 12 to 16years} my Mom was there, but there too were times the alcohol took over. I too was slipping as most teens do, but I had to do it on my own, I tried alcohol, it made me feel good most of the time. Don't get me wrong I did not do it that much, only when I was with friends. Mainly on the weekends. Living in a home where you see a lot of drinker come and go, you see a lot. I have maybe seen too much. But this is what made me scared of drinking too much. So I tried to manage it to a point that I still knew what I was doing. I seen a man die at our table because he got to drunk and was vomiting and then gone. No one could help everyone was to drunk, I was too late, sad. But it was things like this that helped me. What made me stop was one time a friends of a friend and me went out, afterwards they took us to their place, I had a drink that is all I remember of that day. The next day I found myself half dressed on the door way of a friend’s apartment. To this day I believe they drugged me. I took a drink since, after that BUT I never put my drinks down NOT EVER. And I came with my own drink. I would never ever get drunk after that, I was too afraid. I would go into the washroom and put water in my drink, no one even noticed. And I was still cool to them. But I was aware, that if I did not take care of myself, no one would. I was truly on my own. I seen there was danger out there.
Now I'm sure by now you have noticed that there has been a lot that has gone on in my life, and there is much more but it would take forever to tell you each incident that happen. The only good that happened out of all that happened in my life was that my mother and I got closer together.
As time moved on, and the drinking continued not by me but by my mother and her friends, life didn't change for me too much. Until this one night I was 15 years old two months before my 16th birthday. This is the night the system got involved. This is the night the man that I hated most, the man that lived with my mother, came to my room late at night with a knife at my throat, this man decided he was going to rape me. But myself I was too strong a wiggly and very angry, I pushed him and kicked him and through him against the wall, I was in my pajamas I left my room I ran down the stairs and out the front door, we lived on Weber Street..There was a police officer driving down the road. And I know this police officer was just trying to help, and he did help.
It went to court, Fred this was the man that tried to rape me with a knife at my throat. Well I know that what he did was wrong, and I know what the system was doing was just trying to help me, but Fred got nothing I think he got a fine. But me I was moved into Madison house. Now I'm not sure if you know what Madison houses is. But from what I seen it was for teens, troubled teens, there were teens there that ran away and were caught stealing that could live at home because they couldn't follow rules. There is one girl there that ran away all the time they took away everything of hers even her clothing. Now I don't know about you but this was very very, very scary to me. I couldn't help but question myself why is it this man does this to me and I'm the one locked up. I didn't see it as because he was still living with my mother I just seen it as I was the one being punished.
Just a thought
I see now they were really truly trying to help me, I couldn't see it then because all I seen was the fear.
So here I am in Madison house,, Fred is living with my mother, my father is nowhere in sight, for who I think is my father, sort of I guess, so I decided to call my Uncle Bxb. I called him because I really, really hated it there, this place scared me. I didn't call my Mr. Dad.I don't even think I had his phone number. I know that he moved back to Kitchener but I didn't have his phone number,
I just remembered why it was I couldn't say how I knew Mr Dad and family were back in Kitchener.
I came home from school one day, when arriving home my Mom was furious, banging pots and pans slamming door. I ask my Mom why she was so upset. Her reply, your brother and his girl friend are trying to get you taken away from me. Your older sister is going around telling everyone you are a prostitute, and you dance tables. Why would your older sister want to hurt me this way? My Mother said, it couldn't be just that man getting everyone to hate her, no he would turn my own daughter against me." I guess him taking everyone away from me was not enough?" She just kept on repeating over and over again, why would my own daughter want to stab me in the back this way? Why? I remember the tears. I seen her pain and I was just too young to see it.
These words my old "sister" said years ago have since come back to haunt me by many, like from my husband’s family, a friend of my husband that tried to break us up several times while we were dating. These words have taunted me, all these people thought this of me for all these years. Can you imagine what I am feeling? How can someone be so mean to kill off someone’s dignity? To think these people thought this of me, sickens me.
I feel like I have been asleep for thirty years and what happened to me years ago are haunting me.
Move over Mommy dearest, daddy and sister have you beat.
STICKS AND STONES CAN BREAK YOUR BONES, AND NAMES WILL ALWAYS STAY, they never leave ever!
Uncle Bxb did come and pick me up. I asked Uncle Bxb if I could move in with them, I didn't think this would be a problem because they had my brother lived with them once upon a time ago. But my Uncle said that it would be too hard on my Aunt. She was running into troubles with her own children is what he told me. He told me he knew where Mr. Dad lived and he would drop me off there. This is when my true nightmare began, I just didn't see it.I remember feeling comfortable there after all, I had my older sister, my younger sister, to be honest I can't tell you if my older brother lived there are not. Mr. Dad was living with his live-in girlfriend Bxrb, and Bxrb had a daughter of her own, so I guess she's my stepsister. I settled in. But you know what, that feeling I had when I was a kid, you know the one where when I lived with my parents before they separated the one where I felt like I was on the outside looking in, it came back, the same feelings I felt years and years ago. They were back.
Seems to me life is not always fare. I think we must start to hear the child's cry.
Children never tell. I didn't. Now look where I am now. Sitting in front of my computer writing it all down so I can make some sense of it all. So I can make a less stress test site. So I can say I am a adult survivor. I want to just feel like what I am going through and facing in my life will touch someone. I want to be me again.
With the way I have been feeling sad lately, and I am getting pins and needles, having bad dreams and less sleep and very whipped out.
Vitamin that help with stress
SO I WENT TO THE VITAMIN STORE
I am not a doctor and I do not clam to be, if you or someone you know that might be going through this type of stress,
This is helping me; it might help you/them too.
People say I should be on antidepressants, I say don't I have the right to cry?
People say I am feeling sorry for myself, I say don't I have the right to feel sorry for myself? Do I not have the right to morn? I have been in shock, trauma, I just found out the people I loved were toying with me, over and over again.
What has help me through a lot of this awakening is vitamins.
I take-
2 Omega 3's
2 vitamin D's
1 5000 B12
1 Maltese B
6 tums
My stress release, the thing that helps me the most is:
To show me, to show them I will move on. jz in me I am more than what they perceived me to be.
I do not get the pins and needles anymore, or the dizzy feelings.
Why couldn't I see? Why?
